Sometimes Always

Sometimes it’s like there’s a cloud over the sun

a darkness that I can not escape

a coldness that leaves even the brightest flames chilly.

 

Sometimes it’s an aching so deep it’s almost part of who I am

a bone deep pain nothing can lift

hurting in a hundred places, small cuts that build to a mountain on my soul

 

Sometimes it’s a void that nothing can fill

an enui that is all I am

so tired, so very tired, a wondering why my heart continues to beat.

 

Always it’s a facade masterfully crafted

a mask made of will and necessity

because though this is what I am, I can’t let you know

 

Always it’s an indomitable will

a backbone made of adamantine steel

because though I feel like I can’t take any more, I have to keep going

 

Always it’s a battle relentless

a war of inches

because though I have to win every fight, it only has to win once


David R Castro

David R Castro is a co-founder and editor of Babbling of the Irrational and an aspiring writing from NYC. You can interact with David on Twitter and by email at dcastroboti@gmail.com

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