Tidal Waves

When you were the light,

I took for granted

the only thing

that ground me down to the earth.

 

Now I sometimes shiver

when the amber liquid

slides down my throat.

 

Sometimes

it’s more than enough

to kill my will,

and sometimes

it acts as a drill

for an emergency

I will never acknowledge.

But you ran

for dear life.

 

Now we see each other in the street

and act like there’s no point in speaking.

You will never acknowledge me,

and I run for dear life.

 

Sometimes I remember that

no one else

is quite this panicked.

 

The poison is a cure for

the poison which is a cure for

the poison.

This cycle is vicious and

you’ve never seen me like this before.

You wish you hadn’t,

because there are assumptions you must make

when you witness the break-down

of the wunderkind

who wonders how kind she must be

when she’s taking liberties to

destroy everything

that would keep her from drowning.

Sometimes this is her only escape.

 

Sometimes I need to drown when

you run away,

because underwater

I can’t see you flee.

 

Below the sea

you will never see me,

and sometimes

I prefer it that way.

 

When I’m strong,

hearty,

invincible,

that frightens you too.

 

When I’m invincible,

I prove that

I can swim without sinking.

But sometimes you’d rather watch

as my head flutters below the surface.

I serve no purpose

except as your

proof

that I’m a self-esteem boost.

 

Is this your love for me,

or for tidal waves?

 

Now I wade in the shallows,

but it’s not deep enough

for you.

 

I am living just

to buoy you.

But the drowning and floating is not for me.

It’s an anchor and lightness that tethers me

to you.

–Janni Raychuk

Janni’s favorite hobby is writing. If you want to contact her, do so at jraychuk1@gmail.com

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