Forever, it seemed like

you’d live forever.

When duty calls,

Father answers.

When duty calls,

Father dances around

the issue.


When I was six,

duty called,

and Father’s answer

paved the way

for a broken heart

and a broken brain.


When I was nine,

you arrived

right on time

to train me

and to pain me

and to blacken just

another day.


At night we went to malls.

At night you played the fall-guy.


When I was 20

you had plenty

to live for.


But the sepsis seeping in your blood

The piss, the dust, the muck, the mud,

you ignored.


I saved you once,

I saved you never.


I could not possibly put back together

the pieces of your broken life.

You stuck a vicious verbal knife

into my mother.


Was I supposed to play the Other

who rescues you, Rapunzel?


Let down your hair.

Let down your heir.

You stole the innocence,

you stole the share

that belonged to me.


The inheritance

the inheritance,

you gave away the residence

that belonged to me.


When you had trouble recalling

my mother’s name and could not even name the President

who left you with your dying name.

My name.

You collapsed.

You fell.

You made this earth your only hell.


And I miss you.


But I shouldn’t.


You gave me the courage I couldn’t


on my own.

And now you’ve sealed away your home.


But one day,

one of these days,

I’ll push your ghost out of my way.


Believe me– I’ll still love you.

But I’m miles and miles,

and years and years,

and lightyears up above you.

–Janni Raychuk

Janni’s favorite hobby is writing. If you want to contact her, do so at jraychuk1@gmail.com

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